Just Been Dumped

“I have also tried very hard to avoid having ex sex with you because I love you too much”

hotfiler — Thu, 06 May 2010 05:37:18 +0000

After Katy dumped him, Russell was beside himself with regret over not having been a more manly boyfriend to her. The breakup inspired him to do a bit of soul searching, which led him to type up this letter to Katy. We assume he slept on it, woke up angry and hurriedly finished it, unedited, before pressing send. His letter, quite impressively, appears to include all the post-breakup stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance…and then anger again.

Dear Katy,

I just finished reading the book men are from Mars and women are from Venus and I am writing this letter to you in order to express some thoughts and feelings. I get angry you are so unhappy with my personality quirks. It feels like nothing I do is enough to make you happy. I am trying to be more assertive and less clingy and needy with you. It saddens me that my lack of confidence ruined our relationship and that you are not happy with me. I really want you to be happy and I fear sometimes that I will push you away by being me, when all I want is to be by your side. I am most afraid that I am not good enough for you and that I can’t make you happy. I’m sorry I lacked the courage to express my feelings and didn’t listen to your warning when you told me you wanted me to be more assertive and less clingy and needy. I’ve always been afraid to take charge and everyone has told me this including yourself. You have given me on more than one occasion the talk about my potential and how I need to use it. The truth of the matter is that I am afraid of failing, I hate trying my best and the realizing my best wasn’t good enough.

I live with so much regret, but one of the biggest regrets is taking you for granted, believing you would be with me even if I refused to be assertive, clingy and needy. I am truly sorry for being such a jerk and opening my mouth without thinking. I am sorry for not being more assertive and being the man when you were scared and needed me to take charge. In hindsight, I should’ve listened to your fears, reassured you that everything will be fine and that you will do an excellent job. Katy, I love you so very much, I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. I want you to be happy, I understand you want space to sort out your personal things. I guess I am guilty of not knowing what to do and hiding in my personal cave hoping. I know you told me in the beginning you have baggage and you are not “touchy feeling” person. I realise that you don’t want to be my girl friend and even when I am assertive and not clingy or needy there is a very slim chance you will take me back.

I have accepted this and I have also tried very hard to avoid having ex sex with you because I love you too much and seeing you makes me hurt all over. You used to call every night and recently you have stopped calling and texting after you got drunk the last time we were together and told me you wanted sex. I honestly think you don’t know what you want becasue one minute you say you want space then another you’re all ovr me looking for reasons to stay with me. I know this letter will never reach you and this is really more for me to finally get down on paper what I am feeling. I will always love you and I remember one thing I told you from a movie I once saw “I want you to be happy in life with or with out me, you deserve the best and I wish you well”. But evena s I write this letter and tears are flowing from my eyes I after I hit the send button and delete all the pictures I hold no rancor nor do I wish to see you again. All I wish is to bid you adieu ma belle.

J’t’ame, Russell

I miss your hands all over my body

hotfiler — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 22:31:18 +0000

Nicholas, an Ameican ex-pat, was living in Japan, where he met and began dating Alice, a Japanese woman. They dated for some time, but when Nicholas moved back to the States, he ended the relationship with Alice. Alice, distraught over losing Nicholas, wrote him this letter.

N, To me, you seem to have started your new life already. I would understand if you think our relationship positively, but if you just dragg it out and stay this way, we both just get hurt. Obviously it is very annoying to you that I contact youand I really don’t want to bother you any more. If you think we’ve reached the limit in our relationshipor you want to give up on us, tell me honestly. Or is there any reasons you don’t make a obvious conclusion? Just tell me what you want. If you could give me a straight answer, I could move on and it would be less painful.
Alice

From Nick to Alice:
Alice,

I’m sorry but I think we have reached the limit of our relationship and we should break-up.
I really love you, and I will miss you a lot, I know, but i don’t see a future for us.
I’m sorry it took so long to say but I was really trying to think of another solution.
But i can’t think of one that won’t be painful for both of us eventually.
Please take care of yourself…
I think I will be ok so please don’t worry about me.
I know you will be ok. You are very strong in spirit and character.
I wish the very best for you…you deserve it.

Love always,

From Alice to Nick:

N, I am writing this to express my thanks for your love and the relationship over the past about two years. I talked to you about this last time on the phone, but let me once again.I never wanted to have an international relationship. I wanted to have a relationship with YOU, because I know that no matter whether we share a culture, a language or not, each person is an individual.And I think love is about PEOPLE and love, feelings, desire,understanding and happiness.I was with you for who you are and how you make me feel.Since I met you, I had learnt what it means to love a man as a woman.However, I also learnt that no matter how much people love each other, there are also cases of those who break up. I had a wonderful time with you.We laughed, cried, and talked endlessly until dawn together…The previous night, going to China, you touched my cheek and my hair gently and kissed me fondly in a bed. That was a beautiful moment that I had felt loved the mostand the joy just could not
be expressed in words.You left me with indelible precious memories. The end of last month, you built a high wall that named”self-defense”. I knew at that point where our relationship goes.But I tried to overcome it.However, I couldn’t even get any closer unfortunately.I couldn’t see our future because I can see your love is different from my love.So I had assumed that this would eventually happen.You didn’t want to get hurt yourself by love, and you wantedto avoid that you are tired and you feel annoyed.To you, protecting yourself was more important than offering me a reassurance of our future so you reject me. But it is not your fault.I think I’m not such a person who deserves you.My love was selfless love. You felt that you sometimes upset me,but it was nothing to me because I can be even willing to give upmy life for you. No matter how much you hurt me, l was prepared to be with you and help you at all costs. I love you as much as that and you deserve it. Actually, I wanted
you to take me to New York and I wanted to meet your mother and your friends.To tell the truth, I’ve always dreamed of marrying with you and living together.But I’m so coward…so I didn’t have enough confidence to live in America.I’m sorry, I hurt you and didn’t make you happy.I wanted to try to get through our difficulties to see our future clearly and to be with you for the rest of my life.But I also know I’m too old to have a baby, I really want you to have a cute and healthy baby, so I think you should make a happy family with a young wife.It is tough to get past a breakup because I’m not so strong. I hope you use whatever gift you have received and your effort for your writing would be successful.I’ll be always on your side. Obliterate all of your memories of me and enjoy your life in Japan.Please be happier than your past with your new girl friend. Thanks for everything you have done for me. You were a very special person for me who added sparkle to my life. Good luck. Alice

From Nick to Alice a week later:

Alice,

Rejected is a very strong word. I did not reject you. I had concerns about our future and I didn’t see any other way.

I didn’t know I would feel this way. You still turn me on. You are the sexiest woman I have ever been with and I miss being inside you. I miss the sounds you make when you come, when you have a vibrator and me inside you at the same time. I miss your skillful tongue all over my body, espicially my chest and my ass. I miss the taste of your pussy and your ass. I miss your hands all over my body. I get excited just thinking about it.

I still don’t see a future for us, but that doesn’t mean I can’t miss being with you. I know you are not my girlfriend anymore or my “fuck” friend. But to be completely honest I wish you were my “fuck” friend now because your body is calling me loud and clear. I know you want me as much as I want you.

I know this is not the way you want it. Maybe you want ALL or NOTHING. I understand if you do. And, if you want me to leave you alone completely I will. I just had to tell you how I feel.

From Alice to Nick:

are you busy next tuesday?

“I don’t believe i’m supposed to be a blowup doll either.”

jules — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:29:13 +0000

“Jessica” and “Tony” started dating in high school, after Tony broke up with Jessica’s best friend. During their senior year, they started having problems, mostly because Tony didn’t want to stay with Jessica if they went to different schools. As their acceptance letters came trickling in, Jessica received several emails from Tony, which included the following inconsistent messages:

“… I think we should take a break. You see, i’ll be going to college and i think we can find more compatible people there for us. Besides, i think keeping a relationship is too difficult, since I’ll be at MIT…”

“…ok, well i didn’t get into MIT. But i did get into Cal Tech and Rice. And i think that you being in Austin and me being in Houston, possibly, is just too much work. And i really don’t want to do it…”

“…OK, so i’m going to the same school you’re going to. I’d love to make this work. I love you so much. We’re perfect together…”

Yet after all of his promises, Tony broke it off before they left for college. Here is Jessica’s reaction to the end of their relationship:

Dear Tony,

I understand why you feel that we had the perfect relationship. You were smart, funny, and understanding. Were is the key word here. Truthfully, you’re nothing more than an obnoxious pig. See, here’s what bothers, me. You tell me to change myself for you. Change what i say, what i do, even how i look. But the truth is, you have a tiny penis and you never gave me one orgasm. I guess your idea of solving this problem was that I should give you a blowjob before we have sex so you could be satisfied and therefore worry less about satisfaction. How considerate of you. I’m so glad i was with you. See, without you, I thought you were god. I thought you were so much smarter than me. Turns out, you’re only as smart because of everyone around you. I’ve never seen someone who took advantage of so many people around them. But it’s ok. They’re there for you, as I once was. You see, every now and then, I get a little tired of trying to help you and having you tell me that you’re just fine on your own. and then you screw up. and then i’m left to make you feel better about being the piece of shit that you really are. But it’s ok dear. I still love you. As much as you loved me. As much as you loved how i was able to change for you and how when you said Jump, i said “how high?”. I do believe i owe you something. I owe you a lot actually for making me stronger. See, when you told me that i wasn’t thin enough for you, then, i decided that you weren’t man enough for me. I tried to make you a better person, for your own good. you tried to make me your bimbo. Now, i know better than to take the word of someone who started this relationship “loving the fact that {you} could be whatever i wanted.” I don’t believe i’m supposed to be a blowup doll either. But that’s what sex between us was like. Silent and pervy. Silent because you were too busy thinking about your dick. Pervy because the only sounds you made were the heavy breathing sounds. Oh, and thanks for never warning me. I love you too. I’m so glad you had so much faith in our relationship the entire way there. I’m so glad you told me, two months in that you would always love my best friend and that she was so attractive to you. I’m so glad that you told me ten months later that you were only trying to be dramatic so you could cause a scene. Oh, And about tomorrow’s date… WHATEVER FUCKING FLOATS YOUR BOAT. oops. you told me not to say that didn’t you. Asshole.

LOVE ALWAYS,

Jessica

P.S. I fucked him and i liked it so much better than i liked fucking you.

“P.S. do not respond to this email — I simply don’t care what you have to say for the first time ever.”

hotfiler — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 19:56:34 +0000

Kate was helping Jon recuperate from surgery for a deviated septum when she found a text on his phone from another girl. Scared that Jon may be cheating on her, Kate confronted Jon about the texts. Jon reassured Kate that Hailey was just a friend, a nutritionist, in fact, who was giving him diet advice and dating his friend Tyler. But Kate was still skeptical. A few nights later Jon had a dream that he should end things with Kate. So, over IM the next day, he broke it off, telling Kate that things weren’t working out and that they should break up. Surprised and confused, Kate accused Jon of cheating on her with Hailey the nutritionist, to which Jon responded: “Grow up, Kate.”

This is the email Kate wrote Jon after he had signed off:

Grow up? You say that and then sign off to avoid a conversation with me? That’s ironic.

I’m not accusing you of dating Hailey. Whether or not you spoke to Hailey or dated her is irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that you lied to me, to my face on several occassions. I am so insulted that you couldn’t just tell me “Yeah, Hailey is a girl I’ve been talking to.” Instead you make up an elaborate lie about how she is Tyler’s girlfriend and asked you to lunch b/c she is a nutritionist and you want to start eating healthy. You really went out of your way there to hide something from me. I know for a fact Tyler doesn’t have a girlfriend, let alone a nutritionist. Why would you do that aside from to hide something from me?

One of the redeeming qualities you had while we were together and friends was your honesty. I always said that about you. I always said you were an honest person that I could trust. After all that we’ve been through you couldn’t even have the decency to give me the courtesy of the truth… More than hurt, I am angry that I almost believed you and humored your lie.

I guess it’s a blessing in disguise, because now, after everything I finally feel good and ready to move on, so thank you.

If I can thank you for anything these past 10 months I’d thank you for opening my eyes to what I really want and deserve in a man and a relationship.

P.S. do not respond to this email — I simply don’t care what you have to say for the first time ever.

Good luck with everything in the future and I wish you the most of health and happiness.

take care,

Kate

“We’ve all made a lot of mistakes while you were gone”

hotfiler — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:48:04 +0000

Amanda : Hi – can you just say you don’t wanna hang out anymore so I’m not confused

hotfiler — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 23:05:16 +0000

The following BBM conversation between “Luke” and “Amanda” was forwarded to JBD from a friend of a friend of a friend. Since we can’t confirm its authenticity, we thought you’d be the judge. Here’s the note “Luke” sent to his friend after a series of BBM exchanges with “Amanda”

Just so you know – I’ve only seen this girl once for a total of 8hrs,
including 3 that I was asleep. This convo was on BBM over a week and a half
- absolutely insane.

What do you think?

Amanda : Was last night weird
Luke : Weird? Just a little – your big sister is bff with my ex-gf
Amanda : No I mean us sleeping together
Amanda : I’m sorry though about the whole steph thing. I now can imagine how that would be weird
Luke : I mean it was weird just cause the red eyes I took during the week
caught up to me and the fact we saw steph/chelsea who I associate with ex-gf
Amanda : I’m sorry. Ill def remember that in the future..they’re some of my
good friends but no need to all hang out together
Luke : No worries
Amanda : K well have a good day at work
Amanda : And safe trip to boston and san fran
Luke : Thanks
Amanda : Ugh Thanks! Talk to you later this week
Amanda : If not, that’s cool too
Luke : Well talk, have a good week at work
Amanda : If you don’t want to hang out, its cool
Luke : We’ll talk – just busy at work – and it’s awkward w/steph.
Amanda : Ok – I didn’t know you still had feelings for you exgf. I’d
rather not be involved in all that
Luke : Alright, well we’ll talk when I get back from san fran
Amanda : I mean do you?
Luke : Sure
Amanda : Ok well I’m sure we’ll talk at some point. Take care
Luke : We’ll talk – good luck with the new job this week
Amanda : And I didn’t realize it would be that weird for you
Amanda : Thanks – take care

Amanda : I was in your building this morning!
Luke : Here in midtown?
Amanda : Noo your apt! One of our clients is marshalls and a sales rep
lives there. We had to pick her up for a meeting in our office
Amanda : Very random
Amanda : Anyway thought I’d tell you
Luke : Sorry – meeting – yah, very random
Amanda : Hey – are you free to talk later
Luke : Hey – I’m getting crushed
Luke : Got to get a memo out at 7
Luke : Then a dinner uptown
Luke : And then I leave at 3am for boston
Amanda : No worries. When are you back from san francisco
Luke : Thursday night/friday morning
Amanda : Okay we can talk then or whenever Good luck with everything this
week
Amanda : And have a safe trip to boston and sf
Luke : Yah,of course
Luke : Thanks
Amanda : The reason why I was concerned is because I wanted to make sure you
still wanted to talk
Luke : Hey – do wanna talk. – I’m sorry just super busy
Amanda : Don’t worry about today being busy. I was just concerned about you
still being upset about the steph thing
Amanda : Ill talk to you on friday. Just know that I wanna talk and I’m
still interested
Luke : Alright, let’s friday
Luke : *talk
Amanda : Sounds good
Amanda : Hope san fran is good. Just went to the boat basin w. Friends and
people I work with
Luke : San fran is good – lots of work unfortunately. Glad you made it to
the basin – good place
Amanda : I actually met up w my ex and his friends who is going out with one
of girls I work with
Amanda : My ex suggested it. Haha so I thought of you
Luke : Oh yikes
Amanda : it was an awkward night
Amanda : oh well
Amanda : K good luck with the work and get home safely!
Luke : Thanks
Luke : Have a goodnight
Amanda : You too. I’m excited to see you
Amanda : It better happen this weekend
Amanda : K or maybe not
Luke : Hey – we’ll talk friday
Amanda : Ok – but I’d guess I’d like to know if you wanna hang out again
Amanda : I’m guessing then we:ll just talk about that on friday?
Amanda : K goodnight
Amanda : Sorry about yesterday.
Amanda : We can talk on friday – k?
Amanda : Luke?
Amanda : Hey
Amanda : is everything ok?
Amanda : Hey – why haven’t you responded
Luke : Amanda, I don’t think it’s a good idea to see each other again.
Amanda : Ok why
Amanda : Is that what you wanted to talk to me about
Luke : Just you’re relation to steph is too close to my ex-gf and I don’t
think it’d work out
Amanda : I know
Amanda : But I enjoyed getting a drink with you and I think its a shame this
is going to get in the way
Luke : Well, I know, but right now it’s not a good time
Amanda : Why is that
Amanda : I totally understand I’m just wondering
Luke : I work a lot at the moment which makes me skeptical for overcoming
the fact that your close friends are very an ex-gf of mine of 3 years
Luke : This isn’t a science; I just don’t think it’s a good idea
Amanda : Luke, I seriously understand – and empathize with you a lot.
While I am only going to be here this summer, I’m moving here for good in
january. I didn’t want anything serious this summer – just wanted to ‘see
someone.
Amanda : I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but I’d love to see you when I move
here – maybe things will be different
Luke : Alright, when you move here let’s see where things stand, but I’m
sorry, right now isn’t the time
Amanda : K – well I hope its the right time for me then. Have a great
summer
Amanda : At the boat basin haha
Amanda : K bye
Luke : Have fun
Luke : K
Amanda : Well I know you don’t wanna talk to me anymore – that’s why I said
‘k bye’
Amanda : One last thing – its good your not seeing me til jan.
Amanda : With the weight and all…
Luke : I’m just at work – that’s all
Luke : Don’t worry about it
Amanda :
Amanda : I can’t believe you don’t wanna see me anymore
Amanda : K bye. Just know that I understand where your coming from with the
steph thing
Amanda : But you’re missing out on a great girl
Amanda : Goodnight
Amanda : Are you still at work
Amanda : ?
Luke : Yah – still here
Amanda : Man I’m sorry. My best friends suprised me and are visiting this
weekend. They aren’t moving to the city for another 2 weeks but knew I’ve
been lonely – they’re amazing. Come out and meet us!
Amanda : K I’m guessing that’s a no.
Amanda : Ok I’m not going to continue to drunk text you…have a good night
slash I wish you didn’t make the decision that you did
Amanda : ?
Amanda : The decision makes me sad
Amanda : Are you alive
Amanda : This is just rude.
Amanda : I’m home – gnight
Amanda : Seriously is everyhing ok
Amanda : I$
Amanda : I’m sorry about last night
Amanda : Hi – my dad wanted to smoke hookah for fathers day so I brought him
to le souk
Amanda : Goood times….
Luke : That’s a good place to go – bet he liked it
Amanda : He’s loving out – he loves cigars so its right up his alley
Luke : Very cool
Amanda : I wanna see you at some point. This is ridic
Amanda : I really think it doesn’t make sense that we can’t just hang out to
get to know one another
Amanda : Without steph – just the two of us
Amanda : What do you think
Luke : I’m super busy
Luke : At work now actually
Amanda : Oh na
Amanda : Oh man I’m sorry
Amanda : Good luck with work – ill talk to you later
Luke : K
Amanda : I’m moving down to the financial district this week
Amanda : ah sorry wrong person – I’ve been smoking all day. Out of it
Amanda : Are you still at work
Luke : Yup
Amanda : Wow – go home
Amanda : I mean when can u go home
Luke : Probably midnight or one
Amanda : I feel bad
Amanda : For you
Luke : Don’t
Luke : I signed up for it
Amanda : true – and it sounds very impressive
Amanda : I’m starting to pack my stuff up. Moving to battery park to live
with my gfs at end of the week.
Amanda : I’ve been lonely without them ha. They’ll all be here by july
Luke : Cool – listen – I’m super busy
Luke : I gotta focus
Amanda : Ok sorry – later
Amanda : Hey – sorry for interupting. But I think you’re right, we
shouldn’t hang out
Amanda : K so goodnight and good luck with the work
Amanda : Is that okay
Amanda : Ok you’re working so I’m interpreting that as a yes
Amanda : Did you get my bbm yesterday
Luke : Yah, I got it late – look super busy – I got a presentation in
London on Wednesday
Amanda : Good luck with the presentation
Amanda : And enjoy london
Amanda : Hey – when are you leaving
Amanda : K still working. Good luck
Amanda : Hey – the reason why I don’t wanna hang out is because you’re never
gonna be around. I know your ridiculously busy with work and I wanna hang
out with someone on a consistent basis
Amanda : I’m sure you’re still working but I just wanted to tell you my
reasoning
Amanda : K bye
Amanda : Can you at least respond
Luke : Listen – look – you’re right I work a lot
Luke : I’m actually on a conference call
Amanda : Plus to be honest I’m offended about the steph thing – you didn’t
even want to get to know one another before not hanging out
Amanda : I know I’m high maintenence in that I want someone to be there -
and I’m guessing that’s not gonna happen with you
Amanda : So you work a lot and I don’t want that – it doesn’t make sense for
me
Amanda : Anyway, you’re working. I’m going to someones to watch a movie
Amanda : Have a good night and safe trip to london
Luke : Ok – thanks, night
Amanda : do you agree with me in not hanging out
Luke : yah, it’s best
Amanda : best because of work or steph?
Luke : Both
Amanda : The steph thing doesn’t make sense – you wouldn’t be seeing her,
you’d be seeing me.
Amanda : Listen – I’m normally not like this with guys. At this point, I
would normally just move on and not even think twice – but for some reason
I’m interested in you
Amanda : I wish the steph thing didn’t bother you – if that was the case,
I’d get over the working fairly quickly
Amanda : anyway, I know that I want hang out with you – its bothering me
that you don’t feel the same or don’t wanna make any accomedations with work
Amanda : Good luck with the presentation!
Amanda : Fyi – I am currently ‘babysitting’ clients in cali.
Amanda : Are you in london?
Amanda : The reason why I’m asking is cuz I’m actually there now
Amanda : My dad had to go for biz – and suprised me with a plane ticket. My
bf lena lives in germany – she came to visit – we just got home
Amanda : Hey -
Amanda : I don’t know uf
Amanda : If you got this but I’m in london with my dad. Leaving tomorrow
morning
Amanda : Anyway, hope things are good
Amanda : Are you back in ny
Amanda : If u don’t wanna hang out whed I get back please let me know
Amanda : Hey – let’s meet up tonight. Stephs at the beach and I’m out with
my other friensa
Amanda : Yes or no? Let me know
Amanda : Hello?
Amanda : ?? Can you answer
Amanda : I’m confused
Amanda : Luke?
Amanda : All I have to say is you’re missing out – ha
Amanda : Seriously
Amanda : Are u alive
Amanda : Hi – can you just say you don’t wanna hang out anymore so I’m not
confused
Amanda : Its actually really rude that you haven’t responded
Amanda : What’s wrong with you – do you mind just manning up and saying you
don’t wanna hang out
Amanda : I’ve honestly never encountered anyone that’s been this rude. Its
weird
Amanda : I’m assuming that you’re not going to respond.
Amanda : With that said, you don’t know anything about me and for some
reason you didn’t want to get to know anything about me. What you should
know is I’m a great girl and don’t deserve to be treated like this
Amanda : And, in the end, its unfortunate because your missing out
Amanda : *you’re
Amanda : Good bye and good luck
Amanda : Luke?

“Plain and simple, it was wrong; it was sin.”

jules — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:14:18 +0000

Handwriting an apology note to your jilted mistress? Good. Having the apology note scanned and sent around over the Internet? Not so good. Writing the note while you are the US Senator for Nevada? Priceless.

(via)

An Endorsement of Email Break Ups

jules — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:44:18 +0000

From Carolyn Hax’s advice column in the Washington Post:

On the merits — yes, merits — of breaking up via e-mail:

Allow me to endorse e-mail breakups, for the reason that they offer more privacy to the person being — how shall I say? — dumped. I’ve been on both sides and I would have appreciated the opportunity not to show my misery to the cause of my misery. I also felt intrusive when I was on the other side, watching someone else lose his composure when he got news he would rather not have heard.

However, an e-mail breakup should always come with an OFFER of a face-to-face meeting if he or she who was dumped wants one, and the offer to answer questions by the medium of the victim’s choice. More dignity all around, I think.

“I am still growing into the ever complexities of this society”

hotfiler — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:05:00 +0000

Nick and Vanessa had been dating for about three months, but they had known each other for about seven. Even though there was an age gap, she was 18 and he was 24, everything seemed to be going great….or so Vanessa thought. A week after meeting his sister, and neighbors, Nick suddenly broke up with Vanessa. Actually, it gets worse…he broke up with her the day before PROM. Vanessa was so hurt she left Nick’s house without waiting to hear the rest of his explanation. Later, she received this:

Vanessa,

I wanted to finish saying what I started…you are truly a wonderful person. You have acheived much in your ever growing indepence, even without the loving support or consent of your family. I am happy to have met you and moved by your perseverance. I am wrong for not being up-front about things to begin with. I was (am) attracted to you and who you are, but failed in telling you the simple truth at the time. I have had some difficulties in my life over the years and I am still growing into the ever complexities of this society. Unfortunately, not you or anyone can be a part of my path, for the time being. School is my biggest priority and all its obstacles therein and I am faced with its mounting pressures every day. However, it has been wonderful getting to know you and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and accept what is. I am still learning to do just that; accepting what is. Please do not be a stranger, but I understand if you do not want to talk to me. I wish you only the best and happiness. Thank you for everything Vanessa and again, I am sincerely sorry.

-Nick-

You already had a full tank of love in your emotional bank account

hotfiler — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:33:26 +0000

Mark and Maria started off as friends. When they first met, they both knew they had made an instant connection and had found something very special. But, Mark and Maria lived in different cities. To keep in touch, they decided to exchange email addresses and despite the distance, their friendship grew stronger. Sometimes Maria would share with Mark the troubles she was having in her marriage. She had thoughts of leaving her husband, but Mark, a devoted Christian, told Maria to stick with it, especially for the sake of her two boys. Eventually, their feelings grew from friendship to romance. One day, Mark told Maria how he truly felt even though he knew it was what he called a “hopelessly impossible situation of love…” because, not only was Maria married, Mark was too.

Throwing caution to the wind, that summer, Mark flew to see Maria where they made love and took long walks on the beach. Mark wrote Maria “You have the ability to give magnificently gentle kisses. … I love your tan lines … the curves of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself)… in the faded glow of night’s light.”

But, there was a big problem. Mark was the Governor of South Carolina. And his wife had found out about his affair. He struggled to let his feelings for Maria go, but Mark couldn’t bear to be away from her. After telling his staff that he was going on a hike in the woods, Mark secretly flew to Argentina to be reunited with his love one last time.

Below are the emails between Mark and Maria upon realizing their love, in this life at least, was doomed. ( You can read more of the emails between these star-crossed lovers at TheState.com)

From: Mark Sanford

To: Maria

Subject: RE:

Date: Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:24:54 -0400

Sweetest, It was indeed a long day. I am most jealous of your salad under the palm tree. Three thoughts in one note now that I have a moment. One the travel schedule is about to get real busy (and this distresses me for the way it may well make it more difficult to get your notes over the next few weeks), two unfortunately all the feelings you describe are mutual, and three where do we go from here?

One, tomorrow leave at 5 am for New York and meetings. Will think about you on its streets and wish I was going to be there later in the month when you are there. Tomorrow night back to Philadelphia for the start of the National Governor’s Conference through the weekend. Back to Columbia for Tuesday and then on Wednesday, as I think I had told you, taking the family to China, Tibet, Nepal, India, Thailand and then back through Hong Kong on world wind tour. Few days home then to Bahamas for 5 days on a friends boat for the last break of the summer. The following weekend have been asked to spend it out in Aspen, Colorado with McCain — which has kicked up the whole VP talk all over again in the press back home.

Two, mutual feelings. I have been specializing in staying focused on decisions and actions of the head for a long time now — and you have my heart. You have oh so many attributes that pulls it in this direction. Do you really comprehend how beautiful your smile is? Have you been told lately how warm your eyes are and how they softly glow with the special nature of your soul. I remember Jenny, or someone close to me, once commenting that while my mom was pleasant and warm it was sad she had never accomplished anything of significance. I replied that they were wrong because she had the ultimate of all gifts — and that was the ability to love unconditionally. The rarest of all commodities in this world is love. It is that thing that we all yearn for at some level — to be simply loved unconditionally for nothing more than who we are — not what we can get, give or become. There are but 50 governors in my country and outside of the top spot, this is as high as you can go in the area I have invested the last 15 years of my life — my getting here came as no small measure because I had that foundation of love and support so critical to getting up in the morning and feeling you could give and risk because you already had a full tank of love in the emotional bank account. Since our first meeting there in a wind swept somewhat open air dance spot in Punta del Este, I felt that you had that same rare attribute. Above all else I love that inner beauty about you. That gift of yours is going to make a tremendous difference in (The State deleted sons’ names) life — and in anyone’s life who is blest to be touched by yours — you need to rest very comfortably in that fact. As I mentioned in our last visit, while I did not need love fifteen years ago — as the battle scars of life and aging and politics have worn on this has become a real need of mine. You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that is so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificently gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curves of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of night’s light — but hey, that would be going into the sexual details we spoke of at the steakhouse at dinner — and unlike you I would never do that!

Three and finally, while all the things above are all too true — at the same time we are in a hopelessly — or as you put it impossible — or how about combine and simply say hopelessly impossible situation of love. How in the world this lightening strike snuck up on us I am still not quite sure. As I have said to you before I certainly had a special feeling about you from the first time we met, but these feelings were contained and I genuinely enjoyed our special friendship and the comparing of all too many personal notes (and yes this is true even if you did occasionally tantalize me with sexual details over the years!) — but it was all safe. Where we are is not. I have thought about it and in some ways feel I let you down in letting these complications come into a friendship that I hope will last till death. In all my life I have lived by a code of honor and at a variety of levels know I have crossed lines I would have never imagined. I wish I could wish it away, but this soul-mate feel I alluded too is real and in that regard I sure don’t want to be the person complicating your life. I looked to where I often look for advice and counsel, and in I Corinthians 13 it simply says that, “ Love is patient and kind, love is not jealous or boastful, it is not arrogant or rude, Love does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice in the wrong, but rejoices in the right, Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things”. In this regard it is action that goes well beyond the emotion of today or tomorrow and in this light I want to look for ways to show love in helping you to live a better — not more complicated life. I want to help (one of Maria’s sons) with film guys that might help his career, etc. I also don’t want you walking20away (sic) from some guy (I take it the younger guy you mentioned a t dinner) because of me — and what we both have to see as an impossible situation. I better stop now least this really sound like the Thornbirds — wherein I was always upset with Richard Chamberlain for not dropping his ambitions and running into Maggie’s arms. The bottom line is two fold, my heart wants me to get on a plane tonight and to be in your loving arms — my head is saying how do we put the Genie back in the bottle because I sure don’t want to be encumbering you, or your options or your life. Put differently, given I love you, I don’t want to be part of the reason you are having less than an ideal week in what sounds like a cool spot. Lastly I also suspect I feel a little vulnerable because this is ground I have never certainly never covered before — so if you have pearls of wisdom on how we figure all this out please let me know … In the meantime please sleep soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul. I love you … sleep tight. M

PS. I will make it a point in NY tomorrow to drop by a store and get that movie I promised to send your way … I am encouraged to know you will not keep it beside the bed least we have tangible evidence of two pathetic figures missing each other far too much to live a few thousand miles apart!

———————————————-

From: Maria

To: Mark Sanford

Subject: RE:

Date: Thu, 10 Jul 2008 23:22:29 +0000 You have not brought complication or are not bringing complication to my life, on the contrary you’ve fullfiled (sic) me with happiness and made me aware how you can feel when you love somebody. I can think with my head but only feel with my heart so I can’t avoid it even knowing is hopelessly impossible. The guy is the one I told you ,just three years younger than me, but I am not in love and won’t fall in love with time so I have to continue my way … be alone for some time and if I am lucky enough will someday feel towards somebody, what I today feel for you. At least you made me realized it can happen. I don’t know if I did understood (sic) well about what was unsafe or not safe. Before our mails use to have other contents … if you want to go back to that and don’t write love things and so on because is not safe for you it’s ok with me, i (sic) love you and by no way would do something that can harm you, so please let me know. I don’t know how we figure all this out and I am not interested in knowing. I prefer to think we’ll see each other again somewhere sometime in this life and in next. Will be missing you till then… . . Have a great trip with the ones you love … they are the kind of trips you will never forget and for your boys will be unworthable (sic) not only because of the places they will visit but for sharing all that time with you. Send you millions of kisses that will last till we get in touch again. best wishes from the deepest of my heart. P.S.: I don’t want to put the genius (sic) back in the bottle because I truly believe in freedom. I never gave you sexual details but now you don’t need to imagine you can close your eyes and just remember. I’ll do the same.