Subject: Please Read

September 17, 2008

i realized during the night last night that im scared of a lot of stuff for some reason. im scared of any relationship because at 19, i still dont know what i want out of anything. i dont know what i caould give you or what i want from you and it scares me that i would be someone who was expoloring as i go along. im so sorry about what happened and i wish i could talk to you. sorry i fucked up. please let me talk to you at somepoint, regardless of how anythinig turns out.

Later that day…

im sorry for what happened last night. im not asking you to forgive me for it or even to try to forget any of it. i pursued you for the past week and tried to get you to give me a chance and then when you decided that you might give me that chance, i pulled away. i did betray you. i did toy with you. i did lie to you. and im sorry. that is all i can say about that.

i want to talk to you about all this. i dont want to explain anything ive done, but only honestly tell you everything in my head. if there is a time in the future, maybe this week or maybe next year, when we could talk about all this, let me know and i will be there. i have things i need to tell you and questions i need to ask you. please let me talk to you at some point.

im sorry.

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One Response to “Subject: Please Read”

  1. N said

    EXACTLY how I’m feeling right now. Thanks for putting it into words for me.

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