“I don’t believe i’m supposed to be a blowup doll either.”

“Jessica” and “Tony” started dating in high school, after Tony broke up with Jessica’s best friend. During their senior year, they started having problems, mostly because Tony didn’t want to stay with Jessica if they went to different schools. As their acceptance letters came trickling in, Jessica received several emails from Tony, which included the following inconsistent messages:

“… I think we should take a break. You see, i’ll be going to college and i think we can find more compatible people there for us. Besides, i think keeping a relationship is too difficult, since I’ll be at MIT…”

“…ok, well i didn’t get into MIT. But i did get into Cal Tech and Rice. And i think that you being in Austin and me being in Houston, possibly, is just too much work. And i really don’t want to do it…”

“…OK, so i’m going to the same school you’re going to. I’d love to make this work. I love you so much. We’re perfect together…”

Yet after all of his promises, Tony broke it off before they left for college. Here is Jessica’s reaction to the end of their relationship:

Dear Tony,

I understand why you feel that we had the perfect relationship. You were smart, funny, and understanding. Were is the key word here. Truthfully, you’re nothing more than an obnoxious pig. See, here’s what bothers, me. You tell me to change myself for you. Change what i say, what i do, even how i look. But the truth is, you have a tiny penis and you never gave me one orgasm. I guess your idea of solving this problem was that I should give you a blowjob before we have sex so you could be satisfied and therefore worry less about satisfaction. How considerate of you. I’m so glad i was with you. See, without you, I thought you were god. I thought you were so much smarter than me. Turns out, you’re only as smart because of everyone around you. I’ve never seen someone who took advantage of so many people around them. But it’s ok. They’re there for you, as I once was. You see, every now and then, I get a little tired of trying to help you and having you tell me that you’re just fine on your own. and then you screw up. and then i’m left to make you feel better about being the piece of shit that you really are. But it’s ok dear. I still love you. As much as you loved me. As much as you loved how i was able to change for you and how when you said Jump, i said “how high?”. I do believe i owe you something. I owe you a lot actually for making me stronger. See, when you told me that i wasn’t thin enough for you, then, i decided that you weren’t man enough for me. I tried to make you a better person, for your own good. you tried to make me your bimbo. Now, i know better than to take the word of someone who started this relationship “loving the fact that {you} could be whatever i wanted.” I don’t believe i’m supposed to be a blowup doll either. But that’s what sex between us was like. Silent and pervy. Silent because you were too busy thinking about your dick. Pervy because the only sounds you made were the heavy breathing sounds. Oh, and thanks for never warning me. I love you too. I’m so glad you had so much faith in our relationship the entire way there. I’m so glad you told me, two months in that you would always love my best friend and that she was so attractive to you. I’m so glad that you told me ten months later that you were only trying to be dramatic so you could cause a scene. Oh, And about tomorrow’s date… WHATEVER FUCKING FLOATS YOUR BOAT. oops. you told me not to say that didn’t you. Asshole.

LOVE ALWAYS,

Jessica

P.S. I fucked him and i liked it so much better than i liked fucking you.

“P.S. do not respond to this email — I simply don’t care what you have to say for the first time ever.”

Kate was helping Jon recuperate from surgery for a deviated septum when she found a text on his phone from another girl.  Scared that Jon may be cheating on her, Kate confronted Jon about the texts.   Jon reassured Kate that Hailey was just a friend, a nutritionist, in fact, who was giving him diet advice and dating his friend Tyler. But Kate was still skeptical.  A few nights later Jon had a dream that he should end things with Kate.  So, over IM the next day, he broke it off, telling Kate that things weren’t working out and that they should break up.  Surprised and confused, Kate accused Jon of cheating on her with Hailey the nutritionist, to which Jon responded: “Grow up, Kate.”

This is the email Kate wrote Jon after he had signed off:

Grow up? You say that and then sign off to avoid a conversation with me? That’s ironic.

I’m not accusing you of dating Hailey. Whether or not you spoke to Hailey or dated her is irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that you lied to me, to my face on several occassions. I am so insulted that you couldn’t just tell me “Yeah, Hailey is a girl I’ve been talking to.” Instead you make up an elaborate lie about how she is Tyler’s girlfriend and asked you to lunch b/c she is a nutritionist and you want to start eating healthy. You really went out of your way there to hide something from me. I know for a fact Tyler doesn’t have a girlfriend, let alone a nutritionist. Why would you do that aside from to hide something from me?

One of the redeeming qualities you had while we were together and friends was your honesty. I always said that about you. I always said you were an honest person that I could trust. After all that we’ve been through you couldn’t even have the decency to give me the courtesy of the truth… More than hurt, I am angry that I almost believed you and humored your lie.

I guess it’s a blessing in disguise, because now, after everything I finally feel good and ready to move on, so thank you.

If I can thank you for anything these past 10 months I’d thank you for opening my eyes to what I really want and deserve in a man and a relationship.

P.S. do not respond to this email — I simply don’t care what you have to say for the first time ever.

Good luck with everything in the future and I wish you the most of health and happiness.

take care,

Kate

“We’ve all made a lot of mistakes while you were gone”

Amanda : Hi – can you just say you don’t wanna hang out anymore so I’m not confused

The following BBM conversation between “Luke” and “Amanda” was forwarded to JBD from a friend of a friend of a friend.  Since we can’t confirm its authenticity, we thought you’d be the judge.  Here’s the note “Luke” sent to his friend after a series of BBM exchanges with “Amanda”

Just so you know – I’ve only seen this girl once for a total of 8hrs,
including 3 that I was asleep. This convo was on BBM over a week and a half
– absolutely insane.

What do you think?

Amanda : Was last night weird
Luke : Weird? Just a little – your big sister is bff with my ex-gf
Amanda : No I mean us sleeping together
Amanda : I’m sorry though about the whole steph thing.  I now can imagine how that would be weird
Luke : I mean it was weird just cause the red eyes I took during the week
caught up to me and the fact we saw steph/chelsea who I associate with ex-gf
Amanda : I’m sorry.  Ill def remember that in the future..they’re some of my
good friends but no need to all hang out together
Luke : No worries
Amanda : K well have a good day at work
Amanda : And safe trip to boston and san fran
Luke : Thanks
Amanda : Ugh Thanks!  Talk to you later this week
Amanda : If not, that’s cool too
Luke : Well talk, have a good week at work
Amanda : If you don’t want to hang out, its cool
Luke : We’ll talk – just busy at work – and it’s awkward w/steph.
Amanda : Ok – I didn’t know you still had feelings for you exgf.   I’d
rather not be involved in all that
Luke : Alright, well we’ll talk when I get back from san fran
Amanda : I mean do you?
Luke : Sure
Amanda : Ok well I’m sure we’ll talk at some point.  Take care
Luke : We’ll talk – good luck with the new job this week
Amanda : And I didn’t realize it would be that weird for you
Amanda : Thanks – take care