Happy New Year from JustBeenDumped! Judging by the number of emails you sent in over our little holiday vay-cay, we’re going to have a busy 2009. Here’s one to get the year started off right:

Backstory: “Whitney” and “Jay” had been casually dating for a few months, and Whitney was very happy with the status of their relationship. But soon Whitney realized that Jay wanted something more substantial. When Whitney told Jay that she didn’t want to be in a serious relationship, Jay decided to call it quits altogether. Whitney attempted to salvage a friendship with Jay, but he wasn’t ready for that, as he explains in this email:

well i’ll tell you the most awkward thing for me, and that’s that i feel like you don’t care at all that we’re not dating. like i might as well have been your pizza deliver boy and said, “i’m sorry, but i can’t deliver your pizzas anymore.” and you’re like “well, it’s just pizza, i don’t give a shit.”

i know that, at least in part, you’ve been careful not to say certain things in the past because you haven’t wanted me to misinterpret them, or over-interpret them, or get the wrong idea. but you talk about your emotions so little that i feel like you have no emotional feelings for me at all–as a friend or otherwise. and i don’t want to be friends with someone who doesn’t have an emotional connection with me.

i find myself even wanting to make you mad, because at least then maybe you’d show some emotion. but i feel like nothing penetrates you. i’m very frustrated.




December 22, 2008

Backstory: When “Brad” and “Angie” met, they had instant chemistry. Things got serious only after a few days, and Angie thought she found a true connection. Yet shortly thereafter, Brad told Angie that he had a live-in girlfriend of five years. In an attempt to end whatever they had at the time, Angie sent Brad this email:


the last two weeks of knowing you was great. i dnt regret knowing you, sharing and doing all the stuff. i was surprised how great our friendship turned out to be despite all our differences and limited time. i used to think that maybe when we are given a chance to be together you can realize that maybe we have a chance and that we really were brought together by fate to meet. i like you and all the possible things that we can be. but all my life i learned to think with my mind and not with my heart and i know the reality is. you love her too much and i cnt match that. i dnt think i can ever match what you and she have… and i respect that.

i wanted not to be friends with you because its hard being friends with someone you know you’ll have other feelings for. i just want to shield myself from the hurt that you can give me unintentionally. iv tried so long and hard to protect myself from this kind of hurt. i could have tried fighting for u, for us but we both know that is a worthless cause. so please understand. this is very hard for me too.. it is.

thank you for opening yourself up to me. for letting me know u and share things with u. for making me laugh and think that i am still capable of loving and be loved. i learned a lot from this.

i wish for you to be happy. maybe someday if fate is still at our side we can meet and be friends for real. ill miss you always.

– angie

Hey Dirk,

This is Jessica from Friday…I just wanted to apologize for acting so crazy to you. It is really unusual for me to be so indecisive. I was very very drunk. And I think I mentioned to you at the time that I just got out of a long relationship, and when things started happening with us I started to get freaked out just because it had been so long since I had been with anyone else. And in combination with the alcohol, I was just really freaking out. It’s also sort of unusual for me to kiss someone I don’t know really well.

I was going to call you and apologize but I wasnt sure you would want to hear from me (because youre probably understandably irritated). An email you can at least just click “delete” without responding. But I wanted to clear things up because I didn’t want you to think that it was you or anything you did, you seem like a great person, I was just a little crazy that night. Also, if you saw Laura’s pictures and are thinking “wtf and who is that guy,” its just a friend of mine who is really touchy with anyone, so please don’t think that I ditched you for some other guy or something.

Ok, hopefully this isn’t making you more irritated than before, I just wanted to clear the air. Maybe I’ll see you out tomorrow (if you don’t hate me).

have a great hump day,

In Summation, OMG.

October 17, 2008

Backstory: “Mary” and “Kevin” went to law school together. She thought that they were just friends, but over time it became apparent that Kevin was interested in something more. His interest in Mary grew to an unhealthy obsession, but Mary repeatedly told him that she had a boyfriend with whom she wanted to stay. One night, when Mary was out of town visiting her boyfriend, Kevin sent Mary a series of instant messages saying that he would commit suicide if she didn’t agree to date him, and that the only thing that would make him feel better was if he had a girl around. The next day, Mary received this email:

Subject: OMG

Ok…so I had a few too many drinks last night. Let me preface everything with that, and then go on to comment that I was just messed up a little bit more because jury selection had just started for [Kevin’s late friend’s] murder trial. So yeah, I was just really drunk, combined with a reminder of him, and that made be ridiculously melodramatic.

As far as my other comments…I was drunk. Haha. Let me assure you however that a general rule of operating procedure is that you don’t tell people that you used to be interested if you are still interested. I’m not sure I made that caveat last night, but it is a necessary, and somewhat important caveat. My comments in this venue were of historical significance only, and had no forward-looking content.

In summation, ignore everything said last night.

Backstory: The torrid affair between “Patrick” and “Stacey” began with them as best friends. After kissing one fateful night, Patrick broke up with his girlfriend, and Stacey and Patrick tried to make it work as a couple. After four months of an intense long-distance relationship, however, Patrick dumped Stacey and got back together with his Ex. Patrick and Stacey stopped speaking, but they couldn’t stay away from each other for long. Patrick left his Ex–again–after cheating on her with Stacey–again. He told everyone, including her family, that Stacey was “the one.” Yet as soon as Patrick returned to law school, he started dating someone new. Stacey was furious. She told Patrick that she was too hurt to continue being his friend, which made him angry at her in turn. This email from Stacey followed:


i just can’t do the fake friends thing right now. like i feel like you want me to be able to just turn off everything and be back to besties circa 1L, b/c that’s what fits comfortably into your life right now. i can’t do that via email and i def. wouldn’t be able to do it in person. and i find it really insane that you would even expect me to want/be able to do that. this situation is bizarre and far from ideal, but there’s no way around it except to just sort of block it all out. i don’t want to know what’s going on with you, because it hurts, and it also really pisses me off when i think about how i let myself get dragged back into this just to be so easily discarded by you again. i thought you would have been a tiny bit more thoughtful this time around about what you said and did with me, but i guess it never really was/is about me at all. which is apparantely a lesson that i just can’t seem to learn. i have plenty of questions about what all that bullshit in december was about. was it about just getting a guaranteed fuck? or was a shred of that trying to be a better person stuff actually true and you just couldn’t pull it off? i hope it’s the latter, because i’d rather think that you are just weak rather than cruel. unfortunately i think it is probably the former though. to mess with me that way just to get laid is beyond low. i don’t know if i did something to you somewhere in our relationship to deserve this treatment from you, but it seems completely pathological how you have absolutely no regard for me at all. it is scary to see that this is how you treat someone that you claim to have loved– or even liked for that matter. or maybe the more you care about someone the worse you treat them? who knows. that’s totally fucked up. we’re both people who have pretty major issues and insecurities. the difference between us is that my shit fucks up MY LIFE, whereas your shit completely fucks up the lives of other people. i’m jealous, i wish that i wasn’t the sole victim of my own insanity; i think it would be a lot easier to just fuck up other people’s lives and keep on plugging, thinking it’s all justified. good for you. bad for me. and your next g/f (victim).


Backstory: The recipient of this email, “Amber,”  had feelings for her friend, “Monty.” He liked her as well, but he was already in a relationship with someone else. After realizing that M would not leave his girlfriend, A told M that they could no longer be friends. This email followed.

Dearest Amber –
It’s 4 am and sleep is nowhere in sight right now. I apologize in advance for the disjointed nature of this note…I’ve been trying to get my head straight since you left, to no avail. I didn’t expect this evening, and I am still reeling from it, trying to get used to this. I haven’t felt this low in a long time, but I suppose what goes around comes around, and I know that whatever loss I’m feeling is equivalent, if not exceeded by the emotional maelstrom I’ve induced in you.

The disjointed note continues…